Vairāgya – Part 3

The boundaries between spiritual and material life should be clearly defined. Otherwise, we can become too absorbed in our children. Strong attachment is highly criticized by Vedānta. By consistently practicing spiritual discrimination (Viveka), we can genuinely enjoy the ‘pleasure of detachment’ when our children grow up. As they mature, kids often stop listening, behave rebelliously, and may disregard their elders. This can lead to feelings of disappointment, primarily stemming from a sense of ‘mineness.’ Such an attitude can be distressing for others and painful for ourselves.

The main purpose of detachment is to achieve complete inner fulfillment in all circumstances. When detachment is practiced with this core objective in mind, it becomes appealing, engaging, and enjoyable, rather than intimidating. Ananda is rooted in our ability to maintain a detached mindset. Mindful detachment can be cultivated through small incidents if we keep our Viveka alert and vigilant.

The Upanishads mention a fundamental principle of life¹ –

Accepting, learning, and internalizing this notion can be challenging. However, honest introspection reveals its truth. We often love others for our own satisfaction rather than purely for their happiness.

Even young children, usually seen as innocent and angelic, exhibit a sense of possessiveness. They are reluctant to share their toys and desire to acquire what belongs to others. Their attitude can be summed up as, “What is mine is mine, and what is yours is mine too.” This mindset is prevalent everywhere. Ultimately, love for others is often motivated by self-interest.

Similarly, renunciation – giving up certain pleasures – can also stem from a desire for self-gratification. We should cultivate renunciation with the understanding that it leads to enduring happiness. There is no need to fear it. We are encouraged to detach from the notion of possessiveness, not from the ownership of things.

Sometimes we lose our belongings. For instance, if an expensive golden ornament goes missing, we often go to great lengths in searching for it. While searching is essential, becoming restless or blaming ourselves or others is not helpful. This anxiety can lead to sleepless nights and a growing distrust of those around us.

Sometimes, the next day, we find the ornament in a closet, on the bed, or on a table—places where it was mistakenly placed. If we are vigilant and practice detachment, such situations will not cause us distress. If a valuable item is stolen, it’s often due to our own negligence in not keeping it in a proper place, thereby giving the thief an opportunity.

In such situations, our judgment should be guided by awareness. If we awaken to the reality of our actions later, it can lead to regret. The ability to let go depends on our awareness; without it, our minds become troubled.

Generally, people face consequences for their own mistakes. When we lose an ornament, we often fail to recognize that it resulted from our own oversight. Regardless of what we lose, it rarely leads to an insurmountable loss—solutions can be found over time. There’s no need to dwell excessively on what we’ve lost. Our feelings of despair usually stem from our deep attachment to that object and the blow to our ego from its loss.

Renunciation should be discussed in the context of the physical body as well. The body is our closest possession, and it is crucial to understand the need for detachment from it. If we lose a golden ring, we can simply buy another one. However, this is not true for the physical body.

We must carefully consider how to detach ourselves from our bodies. As we age, our hair naturally turns white, our teeth may fall out, and our vision and hearing tend to weaken. The power of our senses diminishes over time and ultimately fades away. This occurs as part of Ishvara’s design, and we have no control over the natural aging process. The condition of our bodies deteriorates, regardless of our preferences.

So why not accept this reality gracefully and happily? Many people go to great lengths to look youthful, even as their bodies age. Such efforts can be seen as foolish, and those who engage in them may appear contemptible. Embracing the natural aging process as part of Ishvara’s plan is an essential aspect of renunciation. If we can happily accept the inevitable changes in our bodies, we can be truly content with how we look.

“Does the body exist for me, or do I exist for the sake of the body?” These questions require careful consideration. The body exists for our sake, so it is our duty and responsibility to take proper care of it. We can view the body as an instrument, a servant, or a worker. Just as we hire a maid to perform household chores and pay her for her services, we should also ensure that our body is able to perform the tasks we require of it. As an essential part of our existence, it should be carefully tended to and looked after.

Although we own our bodies, we must do so in a detached manner. No one feels sad when a servant or worker leaves their job; similarly, we should not experience pain or anguish when it comes time to leave our bodies at death. The growth, decay, and death of the body are beyond our control, which raises the question: if we cannot control it, can it truly belong to us? The Supreme Being, i.e. God or Ishvara, who owns all bodies, has merely lent them to us for a limited time. We must return it to Him (God) when the time comes. Therefore, we should avoid feeling a sense of mineness or attachment toward the body. This attitude is known as detachment or renunciation.

It is essential that Vairāgya (detachment) is accompanied by Viveka (discrimination). Saints say that Vairāgya without Viveka is comparable to a blind person, while Viveka without Vairāgya is like a crippled person. Both are incomplete without the other, as neither leads to Ananda i.e. lasting, supreme, pure Bliss.

We are not meant to abandon actions altogether, but rather to remain detached or indifferent to the results of those actions. We do not need to renounce ownership of our bodies, but we must relinquish our sense of mineness. We should not discard the physical body, but we must let go of our identification with it (deha-tādātmya). Superficial or theoretical thinking about renunciation is pointless; it often leads to merely idle coffee-table discussions. Such an approach is not conducive to genuine spiritual growth. Detachment must be practiced in everyday life; this is the essence of Vairāgya.

॥ Hari Om ॥

1. Atmānastu kāmāy sarvam priyam bhavati ॥
   (आत्मानस्तु कामाय सर्वं प्रियं भवति) ↩︎